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A great favourite of mine, entertainer, actor and writer.. Cyril Fletcher 1913-2005.
Amongst his many talents he was famed for his writing and performing his... 'ODD ODES' on Sunday evenings, in a popular TV show called 'That's Life' which was presented by Ester Rantzen. Ester was the person who created 'Child Line', a phone line set up for abused children.
Ester is now titled, Dame Ester Rantzen, a much earned reward from the Queen for all her hard work in setting up the child - line..
An ODD ODE by Cyril Fletcher.
The Mermaid.
On Brighton beach some time ago
A boatman by the name of Joe
Looked up and in amazement saw
A mermaid washed up on the shore.
His eyes bulged as without delay
She rose, and shaking off some spray
Proceeded to remove her tail,
And put same in a pail;
Joe was astounded, rubbed his eyes
, The mermaid then said to his surprise
Said in a foreign voice
"Ah oui! Monsieur,
I do not like ze sea!"
From where before the tail had been,
A pair of shapely legs were seen,
And Joe said "cripes this is a case"
And could not look her in the face.
She said to Joe "Let's get away"!
I'm sick of seeing waves and spray
Like jelly wobbling up and down,
Monsieur, Let's go and see the town?"
Joe's blushes matched his ginger hair
For mermaids have no clothes to wear!
He muttered " I shall get it strong
If Watch Committee come along".
Quite a few people stopped to smirk
A newsboy shouted out, "nice work".
Some more collected - quite a jam
Watched them about to board a tram.
The tram conductor watched them come,
Then said to Joe "Oi, nark it chum!"
Joe said to him, quiet as can be,
"She's just a mermaid from the sea"!
The tram - -man said "Oh yes old bean
And what are you - the fairy queen ?" 
A policeman quickly hove into view ,
Took out his book, (or truncheon even) said, "What's to do?"
The mermaid glanced and said "I guess
I love your Engleesch policemen - yes!" 
Sad to relate this copper brave
Fell for her charms, became her slave
And leaving poor Joe in the lurch
Married the cop in Brighton Church
All she left Joe was the pail
Containing her discarded tail
Joe sore at being left so flat
Gave it to the lodgers cat. 
